How to Stop Seeking Validation From Others:Effective Ways.

If you live for people’s acceptance you will die for their rejection.”

Do you remember when you were a kid, what you seek on an accomplishment of your little act?As a kid I used to seek my parents and teachers validation.And there was nothing bad.It was absolutely normal that you ask others feedback or acknowledgement as a kid.Receiving others approval or a reward makes us feel good, though the feeling is temporary.

But if you see the other side of the coin you will easly realize that how we become habitual to others opinions or feedback right from our childhood. Thus we learn to depend on others for our own matters.This makes us to depend on others approval.

You may seek valdation from others on your work,achievement ,ideas or choices. You may have countless reasons in support of others validation.But seeking for others validation is an immature act if you don’t have self-worth.

“Your self-worth does not belong in the hand of other people.”Ashley Hetherington

We love to receive rewards,we feel happy if someone praises us andwe also want to be recognised by others.These come to us spontaneously.This is how we handover our happiness to others hand.

Here I am sharing some action steps, to reduce seeking others validation at every situation.

Know your value.

Seeking others validation is okey if you have self-validation. If you know how worthy you are then your happiness or feelings will not totally depend on others recognition or opinion.

Boost your confidence.

Lack of self-confidence is one prime reason for seeking others validation.So be confident enough that your happiness will not depend on others opinion.You must have the guts to take risk. Here I am not saying about any dangerous stunt. But to start with something new or different you must have the confidence on you. Otherwise you will keep thinking what other people will say about you or your startup.

Different people different opinion.

Do you think that people whom you are caring so much are same?Are they have same mentality? It is impossible. They are different and their likes,dislikes or opinions are also different.Since you are constantly seeking others validation your progress is stuck in defferent types of opinions of different types of people.So know what are you losing.

Reduce Social Anxiety

We live in a society and we have some assigned responsibility towards our society.To continue with social harmony we must follow some rules and regulations. But it is not that you have to think every time how the society is going to judge you. Fear of social negative judgement leads to social anxiety.So don’t let others judgement control your feelings.Do what you like, in a healthy way and with no guilt.Without harming social harmony and diversity learn to attain your well deserving life.People who are going to judge you,they are also judged by others.

Conclusion

You are the only person who better know about your needs and desire.Stop worrying about others opinion on you.Don’t let others to control you.Your happiness should be in your hand, not others hand. Subsequently by stoping to seek others validation you will able receive it spontaneously. You will also able to attract others.They themselves will come to acknowledge you.

                     So..

I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.” – Coco Chanel

But I really want to know what do you think about it.

Thank your for reading😊

What I Learnt from my plants:Amazing Life Lessons.

In my tiny garden few plants are growing happily. When I look at them I feel amazing.Their tiny leaves are merrily dancing with wind without fear of falling down.They are mesmerizing my soul. My little plants are teaching me some important and valuable lessons of life.

Among all living organisms I feel pants are playing the role of a giver.We can not count it because blessings are uncountable and the learnings are valuable. Here are my learnings from my plants.

Plants don’t need others validation.They are fulfilling their purpose diligently. But we are always seeking others validation.Even mostly we deny to do our assigned duty. They are happy because they are content. Contenment is a great way to be happy.Plants are teaching us that focus on what you can do rather than what you were.

Consume only those what you need to survive.Plants never consume anything that not needed.They take what is necessary for living.

Enjoy every season.Yes..they never complain on any change,they accept the change.This helps plants to thrive.Plant have the ability to accept challenges.They have the quality to stand up against all odds and adapt the changes of nature and make adjustment according to every season.

Look at the bright side.Plants always turn towards the sun.Their primary goal is to grow.They there for don’t focus on their predators. Plants want to grow at any situation.

Plants grow as much as they can. They don’t set any boundaries.They are giving a lot to us without asking for anything. Food,beauty,medicines,purified air….and more and more.

I am sure you all have your own valid points to praise a tiny plant for teaching some life lesson.We all should be thankful to plants whether it is big or small..indoor or outdoor.

Stay happy and keep growing…😊

My Story:Life With Fibromyalgia.



Every morning waking up with tremendous pain in my body..I feel like stepping back.I feel it is goining to kill me very soon. But then I ask myself is my pain more stronger than my wills?The answer is ‘no’.

I am struggling with Fibromyalgia.You can say it is the pain in my brain. But trust me it is not like that. I am making an adjustment with chornic pain.

Life has lots of challenges and these challenges make you strong. They mould you,they fold you. It is up to you how you face those challenges.

I have learned from life’s hardships that untill you give up no obstacle can defeat you.

It was difficult to handle everything with Fibromyalgia. My physical condition devastated me.But my one step towards recovery has made a big difference. I realized that Almighty has given me something very tough because he knows I have the power to handle it.He is planning something better for me.I know these pains are only in my body and my brain is strong enough to deal with such pain.

My acceptance and willpower helped me to stand up like a warrior.This is how I motivated myself..

I set small goals to achieve on time.Without being harsh I complete to my chores. I know my body needs proper movements and proper rest equally. Earlier I put effort to start my days with a smile. Now the smile comes easily despite of having a sleepless night.

I am feedind my mind with positive toughts.I have cultivate reading habit since my childhood and this habit now helps me to stay motivated for long time. You can check my earlier blog How To Build Reading Habit.

Motivation works. It is like a medicine to me. I am now able to build strong inner stength by training my mind and body.

This is my story..my real story. I know we all are in different places putting the same shoes. There is no grief for such a life in my mind because life can be more complicated without any physical complexity. It depends on us. Living a life with positivity and kindness is giving me imense power to deal with the chaos.

Thank you for reading my story.

With love

Rosida😊

Build Your Inner Strength

We are what we make it.In a single life how we live depends on our wills,our strength. Strength has two basic faces.

Physical Strength and Mental Strength.

We are eating good food, taking suppliments,doing regluar workout to build our physical strength. Spending lots of money and time to stay fit and to stay healthy.

However for a fruitful life both are equally important.But there are lots of examples where without proper physical strength a person has reached the top of the success .They are legends. They have created history. With strong inner strength they made their life worthy.

You really have to look yourself and find your own inner strength,and say,’I’m proud of what I am and who I am’.”

Mariah Carey

Life has no restart button. Untill we take our last breath we live our life with lots of ups and downs. We face lots of challenges.We all have our own story. If someone is struggling till the end ..somone is creating history.

If we build a strong inner strength we can defeat all obstacles on our way.We can convert our ordinary trait to extraordinary power with our inner strength.It is a necessary skill to accomplish and achieve our goals.

If you are feeling lack of inner strength no need to worry ;because you can cultivate this skill very easily by adapting few good habits. Habits are nothing but something we continue to practise .

1.Know Yourself And Transform Youself.

We as a human being may have lots of disabilities . Sometime it is important to accept our disabilities . But don’t let you disability become your weakness. Mental weakness will create complexity.So know yourself. Only if you want to feel like a loser than you will love to live with your weakness. To be a winner face the world with your power. Power of conquering the battle. Remember nobody wants to talk about the loser,people talk about the winner.

2. Follow Healthy lifestyle.

Your inner strength can go down if you are having an unhealthy and irresponsible lifestyle.Follow healthy lifestyle with supportive and loving people. Develop good habits to live a healthy life. Consumption of Junk foods..alcohol produce stress and illness. So you must have a control over your habits.

3.Don’t Buy Negativity.

News papers,social media,Tv shows which are constantly selling negativity to destroy social harmony, should be avoided. Participate in healthy criticism. Be responsible towards the society.

4. Don’t live in past.

The bitter experience of your past life paralyzes your mind. So focus on your present and let go of the past. Learn from your past failures or mistakes but pdon’t let those disempowring stories control your mind.

Building inner strength is not a rocket science. You only need to train your mind and body in disciplined way. Your strength provides you the ability to accept all challenges and face the world with more power. Because inner strength is like the fuel of your mind. Don’t let the fuel finish.

Benifits of Strong Inner Strength.

1.More control over your life.

2. Build Decision making power.

3.Become courageous to handle hardship of life.

4.Able to say ‘no’ to unwanted and unnecessary.

5.Celebrate life.

“You have power over your mind-not outside events.Realize this and,you will find strength.”

Marcus Aurelius.

How To Stay motivated:8 helpful steps.

An inner desire that encourages us for goal oriented changes in our behaviour is defined as motivation. Motivation is powerful. It guides us,inspires us. Every time it pushes us to take an action that leads to achieving our goals. So why not stay motivated?

To fufill the basic needs like food,shelter,education we need to stay motivated. Then the next level starts..we move forward to achieve our goals. We set goals and take action steps to move forward.But every time we seek motivation.

If we want to change one old habit we must have a strong desire for it. That desire for change is called motivation. It is an inner process that builds positive vibes to be your better version.

Is it possible to stay motivated every time?Simetimes you find very difficult to start the day. You feel disconnected with yourself. And you find the day lousy.It happenes. But if you have a control over your behaviour you can manage that odds also. Consume good and produce good. Let your mind and body relax. Don’t allow any evil to control you.Here are some must tried and effective ways to motivate youself.

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”
Zig Ziglar

1.Find the optimism

Be optimistic. Focus on positive sides. Otherwise negativity will ruin your energy and motivation. Without being optimistic you can not find motivation .Be ready to see the silver line in clouds.

2. Read more.

Read a books to read others journey. Let your mind open to all positivism. You read more you learn more. Every new story can inspire you to stay motivated.Feed your mind to stay mentally strong.

3.Work on to become your better virson.

Stop comparing yourself to others. Compare yourself to you. Focus on what can you do instead of what cannot you do.

4.Take your responsibility.

Don’t wait to others come and help you. Be your own boss. Don’t blame others for your failures. You are responsible for your every wins and defeats.

5.Know the purpose of your life.

Life without purpose has no light.Life become beautiful when you know the purpose of your life.The purpose of your life can motivate you for long time.

6. Do little things to pamper yourself.

Spend time with you.Love yourself. Take care of yourself. Eat healthy food,Drink lots of water,do exercise on regular basis,listen to good music and take proper sleep.

7.Stay away from negative people.

Your all motivation vanish if you stay with negative people. Atleast don’t buy negativity from their. Keep distance.

8.Celebrate your every small win.

Your every single win matters. When you complete a small task you feel energetic and motivated. Give yourself a gift and celebrate your win and see the magic.

Your passion is waiting for your courage to catch up.
Isabelle Lafleche.

To stay motivated you must know your value.Enjoy your own company.

Every breath we take can motivate us…If we realize how fortunate we are .

Life Lesson I Learned In 2020:

What happened in this 2020 never seen before.Whole world had stuck. Actually the year 2020 is like a roller coaster ride. Lots of ups and downs have seen.

We always welcome new years with lots of resolutions,expectations and we set targets too. In terms of health,wealth,relations and many more. But the 2020 taught me that we can not predict the tomorrow. Yes.

Who thought that the year started with all time high economy in stock market will face such a crisis within a couple of months. Most countries shut down their economy in such a unprecedented way.

Unpredictable things started to happen.Large numbers of people lost their job…suffering terrible situations and as a result depression,drug ovrdose,suicides skyrocketed.

Yes..2020 has created history. Despite of so many negativities we are still in a hope..our normal life will come back very soon.

So many things happened in this year 2020. I was so worried about my family and about our future. Felt like a Demon is going to overwhelmed us.Like we are going to see the end of humanity. Because everywhere God’s creation is losing their moral..

But still some positivity standing by our side. We cried..we fought and we learned.

I feel it is a total waste if I can not learn from this crucial situation. Every situation of this pandemic has taught me new lessons.Here are my learnings…

See the brighter side. Yes.. if you can not see the brighter side you can not stay positive.

Health is wealth. Though I know it but I realized in this 2020 that your biggest asset is your health.

Boost your immunity. The most important thing to do with our health is boost immunity. To fight with your enemy stay strong and build strength.

Feed your mind with positivity because mental health matters. Read books,keep journal,practise gratitude.

Family comes first.All I was trying to keep safe my family by taking utmost care.

Luxury doesn’t mean show off. Luxury means spending time with your near and dear one.

Don’t consume over.We need very few things to live happily.So, embrace minimalism. It does not mean less ;it means simplicity .

Love nature. We must know that what we did to the nature over and over was harming our enviroment.

Nature can heal itself. The whole pandemic situation had a great impact on nature. Clean rivers,beaches,green trees,clean air all had proved that nature has healing power.

Your financial condition matters a lot. What we do to make our living should be more strong. Because you need a financial support any time.

Be kind.Value others labour.Don’t lose your moral value.

However the year is going to end up. But hopes should not die.Always hope for the best. Hope has the power to keep you alive.

Nothing is permanent.This tough time will also pass. Though it is not so easy to stay positive at this crisis but we don’t have any other option. Don’t spread hatred .Spread love and be strong.

Prace of mind depends on you.

You are somone special.

God never creates anything useless.

Stop complaining and count your

blessings. Do not waste your time in

moaning and groaning. Universe

wants to give you

more ;so never close the door. The

door through which your fortune

etners.

Look at yourself. Who are you?

A giver or a taker.

You are taking a lots from the

nature..from the Universe.

Now it is your turn. Be a giver.

Give a positive vibration to nature in

return. Your thoughts,your words

and your deeds are enough to create a

positive vibration. Remember a giver

can sleep well.

Be kind to others. Spread love and

laugh.

Enjoy Nature. Feel the beauty of

nature…smell the aroma of flowers.

Stay with nourishing people to be

happier.Avoid them who are toxic

because they are Dream Killer.

Learn to declutter. clutter can lead to

a witty mind. So let your home clean

and clear. More clearer can create

peacful mind ever.

Listen to your heart; chase your

dream and never give up.

You will never find peace of mind untill you listen to your heart.”

George Michael

Love and take care of yours;because

you deserve to be your own.

Your self love increases your peace of

mind.

So,do not worry because you have the

power to find peace of mind yourself.

I guess now you will not going to search your peace of mind somewhere else. Now you know that your peace of mind depends on you.

Am I right???

Power of Words:Choose Your Words Carefully to build your life.

Say you are well,or all is well with you,and God shall hear your words and make them true.

Ella Wheeler Wilcoxo

Do you belive in power of words?

Remember those words said by somone to you which have great impact in your life. From your chilhood you may heard lots of words used by others to praise you. When someone told you so smart or intelligent how you felt?Fabulous??I guess you will say yes.

We can not imagine the power of a single word,which can make us or break us. Words can be constructive or destructive.The word we repeatedly say to us or we hear from others can shape our life.

As a human being we can not stop our mind to self-talk. If other person’s words can influence us then imagine those words which we say to ourselves again and again for a long period. Lets see how can a word create us or destroy us? How can a word suck our energy or boost our energy level up?


1.We use to say lots of negative words about ourselves or about the day or about our life. When we say negative words our subconscious mind takes it and starts to work on it. As a result we become a negative person. Reverse is also true.

2.If someone constantly makes negative conversation with you;You gradually start to think negative.Unlike that if you start positive conversation with that person your thinking will be positive.

3. Instead of using mediocre words (eg.fine,so so,it’s okay,not bad) to answer the question how are you? if you use positive words (eg.fantastic,terrific,super etc);u will notice the difference. These positive words will attract you and you will feel better because your mind begins to corresponds with these positive words.

4.Words that we use in our coversation create a lasting memory ,so be careful while choosing your words. Our words can hurt someone or our words can heal someones wound. Sweet and sober words makes a relationship strong and bitter words can end a relatioship.

5.When we use encouraging words to our kids they become happy and excited.It boost their confidence.

Conclusion: The universe takes your words and return back to you. If you say positive words positivity will accomplish your life.So choose wisely your words and be mindful when pick up a word from others.

Do you have the list of those positive words which you regularly say to you and which uplifted you to the next level of success?

How to Develop Your Reading Habit:6 Easy and Helpful Steps.

We read to know we are not alone.

C.S.Lewis

When you read a book you enter to a world where you can find a mentor or a friend. The reading habit is something which can give your life a direction with lots of experiences and learnings. We can upgrade our learning when we read more and more. With more readings we live thousand lives..with more readings we can see the whole world ,discover people and their culture and many more. It depends on our interest.

If you want to construct your life; develop your reading habit.If you think reading is very tough in our busy life than you are wrong. You can give lots of excuses.But remember if you want to be a leader you must be reader. Because leaders are readers. If you try to know about the journey of successful people than you can find that they make time to read a book in their busy routine.

If you know reading but do not read then you are one step behind the person who doesn’t know how to read.These black pearls are powerful weapons to conquer the battle of ignorance. So embrace reading habit.

Reading can be a enjoyment or can be a professional skill. Reading can inspire you to stay motivated for lifelong .But the condition is that to develop reading habit you need to invest your time and it should come to you naturally . You can not force yourself to read a book.

If you choose the right book to read then you can enjoy reading otherwise you will feel bore because it seems like reading is a chore. You can choose those books which will help you to grow and lead your thoughts to right direction. 
Most of the time we take resolutions but do not put the right effort. It is also easy to say that I am going to read 50 books  this year. But how can you read and what will you read ??The answer of these two questions  you must know.

It takes time to develop a habit. But everything can be possible if you practise. Practise makes you perfect.With a srong mindset if you want to develop a lifetime reading  habit you can follow these steps.

1. Know your taste.

It is always important to have a clear understanding about your taste. What kind of book can make your reading enjoyable?Start from those which you love to read.Once it become habit then you can move forward to other areas  which you need to develop.

2.Make a list of books you want to read.

Now you can make a list of those books which you want to read according to your taste. It is true that for overall development you cannot stick to a particular type of book. So ask for recommendations  from others. You can search online or ask your mentor or friends. Thus you will able to make good list for your reading and making a list will help you to stay organized. It will help you to focus on your reading.

3.Set your time.

If you set a particular time to read a book
it will help you to keep away from other distracting elements like Television or Mobile. It will also develope your reading speed. When you set 30 mins for your reading you will notice that on that particular time you are trying to read more pages day by day. And also the time you set will help you to concentrate on your reading. With a good book when you spend a particular time it becomes your productive ‘me’time.

4.Keep a jounal or diary.

It is a very important tips to make your reading more beneficial. When you read  a book you must try to note important points in a jounal or diary, this can be handy for you to remember what you learned from the book.Thus you will consume more from a good book.

5.Try Audiobooks.

You can take the advantage of advance technologies.There is no doubt that audiobooks are becoming a handy element for those who wants to read any time. It can make your reading enjoyable and more convenient too. So embrace it.

6.Read with your family.

You can make reading habit with your family also. You  can inspire your kids to cultivate reading habit form early age. This will help them to become a good reader from their childhood. Read with them and read for them. You can start with their story books. Make reading so interesting for them. This will also develop your reading.

Your one habit can give you lots of benifits.
Know how reading books will help you to grow.
1.Motivate you.
2.Shape your thoughts.
3Reduces stress and anxiety.
4.keep your brain healthy.

Once you learn to read,you will be forever free.
              -Frederick Douglass

Keep growing…

How to overcome fear of failure.

Most of the time in our life when we have to start something new or when we need to change something, the fear of failure always push us to back foot. We even do not try for once.

This is true that fear of failure varies person to person. But some similarities among them you can notice are:

1. Lack of confidence.

2. Lack of self esteem

3.Anxiety

4.Over protective.

When we talk about fear of failure,first we should try to understand the term failure. Because failure can not be same for all. Due to different types of belief system, upbringing and values or types of goal settings failure also have different definition for different person.Sometimes from a bitter experience of past holds you to back step.

But failure is not the end. Suppose you failed on your first attempt,what will be your next move? Give up? Choice is yours. You can give up by saying your are less worthy or you can learn from your failure to make your second attempt . Your lesson from your failure can teach you how to grow and how to avoid making the same mistake again.

It is not failure itself that

holds you back ;it is the fear

of failure that parelyzes you’

Brian Tracy

Before your fear of failure paralyze you lets see how can overcome fear of failure.

lnspiration

Lack of inspiration is a cause of fear for failure. You can take inspiration from those great winners who had successfully overcome it. Read those true stories of winners who had learned from their failures.  Learn from their journey.All these things will surely inspire you if you decide to be inspired . Otherwise all inspiration will fed up. Along with others inspirational stories read your mind also.Try to find what is your strength and weakness. Focus on your strength and let your weakness take some rest.

Learn to take Risks.

Like failure the concept of risk varies person to person. 

We often say ,’why should I take risk?’ or ‘ I don’t want to take risk.’ Well..you are not wrong.Because you can not behave irresponsible or you can not  be gambling foolishly to achieve somthing. Success involves taking calculated risk. So you must know the boundaries. You have your own understanding and strength to identify the responsible risks. Because resposible risk taking is based on knowledge and confidence.

Positive thinking

You can choose to be posotive. You can control your thoughts by repeating positivity in your mind. Because if you want  negative results then you can only think negative. Choice is yours. Think honestly what do you want. Because sometime staying negative is more comfortable than staying positive.

Get out of your comfort zone.

Most of the time we feel so uncomfortable when we need to change or start something new. Then we start to hate the change and avoid to get out of our comfort zone. But remember ,this comfort zone is vitamin for your fear. It feeds your fear and your fear become larger than earlier . So break the comfort zone to overcome your fear.

Learn to accept failure.

You need to accept your failure.  If you have tried once and you failed,don’t ran away or don’t blame anyone. Take the responsibility and accept the failure. Because your failure will teach you where you made the mistakes and where you should put your strength
Unless and untill you become wrong you cannot discover the right.

You always pass  failure on your way to success .”

Mickey Roony

Visualisation

If you are now a positive person,you are able to adopt a positive attitude then you need something more to overcome the fear of failure. Because positive thinking alone is not enough. You need to  practise visualisation . Make a clear picture in your mind what you are doing after achieving your goal. Research has shown that visualisation is the effective way to overcome fear of failure.

So you have all basic action steps to overcome your fear Of failure. Next time before you say no to start some where or to do something new ,think for a while. Build positivity , take the resposible risk, break the comfort zone and visualise where you are after achieving your goal. If you fail do not quit. Learn from your mistakes and bounce back.

         “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
                                       -Thomas Edison